THE ULTIMATE GUIDE TO KISSING:
HOW TO KISS HER RIGHT
Whether you’re new to the game, or a veteran looking for pointers….
Following this guide will greatly increase your chances of scoring a second one!
Every romantic relationship begins with a first kiss. To a girl, this kiss can either confirm the existence of chemistry or negate it completely. Moreover, the way a guy goes about it is known to directly correlate to the type of lover he is in the bedroom. The better the kisser, the better the lover.
This can put a lot of pressure on a guy, understandably so. But no worries, fellas, I’ve got you completely covered in this guide. It will provide you with everything you need to know about how to go about the first kiss. Whether you’re new to the game, or a veteran in need of pointers, following these tips will greatly increase your chances of scoring a second one!
PHASE 1: GAUGE HER BODY LANGUAGE
Even in our modern-day society, psychologically speaking, women are biologically predisposed to be attracted to a man who can take control. Being able to demonstrate that you know what you want and are confident enough to go after it is very sexy to a woman. HOWEVER, it is EXTREMELY important for a guy to be able read and understand a girl’s body language prior to doing so.
With that being said, however, it is equally as important for a guy to demonstrate his ability to read and understand a girl’s body language. For example if her body language is saying no, and you go in for that kiss anyway, it will completely turn her off. Why? Because by doing so, you basically tell her you are completely inexperienced, desperate, and/or creepy.
Therefore, before even thinking about setting the stage for a kiss, carefully note her body language. For example, following a date when the two of you are saying goodbye, a girl who doesn’t want to be kissed is going to be either looking down or away a lot, and/or doing something else, like going through her purse to find her keys or phone, to try distract you from making a move. If the two of you hug goodbye, she is going to do so using one arm with her head facing the opposite direction and body her leaning away from yours.
THE “FRIENDS” CAVEAT
In cases where the two of you are friends and she’s trying to let you down easy but still show her appreciation for the date, her “not interested” body language might not be so obvious. In such cases, wait for her to make the first move.
I mentioned before that women are predisposed to be attracted to a man who’s powerful and dominant. But these assumptions are most appropriately applied conceptually, with all other factors being equal. Meaning, humans are incredibly complex creatures and several factors can attribute to what each individual considers “attractive”. Sure, statistical inferences can be made, but there generalizations are simply that—generalizations. Often, the more you get to know a person the less psychological bias often come into play.
Females are very much aware of the sexual power we hold over women. As a result, we’re often even more inclined to make the first move on a guy we’re interested in kissing.
Given the above doesn’t apply and you’re with a girl who’s displaying open “interested” body language, set the stage for the kiss. But be smooth about the way you go about it. Most guys will just go for it without bothering to do the leg work. The ones who stand apart are the ones who show how good they are at doing it. Your ability to go about it successfully will determine how far you’ll be able to get with this girl romantically and yes, sexually.
PHASE 2: SET THE STAGE
When the moment is right and the two of you are alone talking, put out your hands to grasp hers then pull her close to you. Then linger there for a moment or so, with her body pressed against yours and wrap your arms around her lower waist. Take your time and don’t rush through it. The longer you draw it out, the more anticipation it’s going to build with her. The more anticipation built, the greater the “pay out”. Continue to talk to her like normal. This will prevent any awkward moments of silence from creeping in and/or you saying something cheesy like “you’re hair smells really good—what is that—apple”?
PHASE 3: THE KISS
Draw her completely in so that you’re holding her. Begin to lightly tousle and play with her hair—this feels soooooooo good. Then take one hand and lightly brush the hair off one of her shoulders. Reposition your hands back around her lower waist and hold her close. Position your mouth toward the back of her neck, allowing her to feel the warmth of your breath. Gently kiss her neck, allowing your lips to linger momentarily. Kiss her again, but allow your lips to linger longer this time. With each kiss you should be inching your lips towards hers. If you do it right, you will notice her getting more and more caught up in the moment.
Before kissing her lips, take your hands and place them softly on each side of her head. Move your mouth towards her and give her a slow, gentle kiss. Then kiss her again, this time taking her bottom lip into your mouth and sucking/biting on it GENTLY. Kiss her again, this time opening your mouth and allowing your tongues to touch gently and slowly.
FRESH breath—so pack gum!
Smell nice—so wear cologne!
Use a moderately stiff tongue—meaning, when you kiss, your tongue should not be too stiff or too soft.
Open your mouth about half way for open mouthed kisses—never too little as to prevent her tongue from entering your mouth, nor so much that she feels as though you’re preparing to unhinge your jaw and shallow her whole.
Use variation!! A good kisser uses a variety of kissing techniques—not just one. Alternate between closed mouth kisses, open mouthed kisses, and closed mouthed kisses where you draw her upper or lower lip into your mouth and gently suck/bite on it.
Lean in for kiss without fresh breath!
Dart your tongue in and out of her mouth (like a lizard),
Keep your mouth open throughout the entire kiss. Your kiss should actually encompass a variety of kissing techniques. Alternate between using closed mouthed kisses, open mouthed kisses, and closed mouth kisses where you draw their lower or upper lip into your mouth and suck/bite on it.
Increase your speed/aggressiveness the more you get into it. Yes, kisses should get increasingly passionate but not to the extent that it compromises good technique. If the speed/ pace you’re going at is working for the girl—don’t change it!! No matter how excited you get!!
Keep your eyes open the entire time. Yes, I understand guys are highly visual people, but what exactly are you trying to see considering my head is completely obstructing your view? Guys enjoy seeing the eyes close of a girl he’s kissing because it tells him that she’s into it—girls want to know the same! I’m not saying you can’t open your eyes at all, just don’t keep them open for the majority of the time. Guys who don’t shut their eyes when they kiss are known to be highly untrustworthy.
NEVER “decide” for the girl that she’s going to kiss you. I.e. if you believe the moment is right but the girl is displaying “not interested” body language and won’t stop looking away from you, DO NOT grab her head and physically turn her face towards yours so you can go in for the kill. I’ve had this happen several times. Even thinking about it as I write this makes me slightly nauseous.
WHAT TO DO IF YOU STRIKE OUT
If at any point during this process, she gets uncomfortable and turns her head or increases the distance between the two of you, whatever you do, don’t act upset or frustrated!! If you handle the rejection appropriately, it will show what a strong, confident man you are.
Confidence is key to attraction!! If you show her that the rejection didn’t bother you, or make you upset or frustrated with her, it will actually improve your chances of getting further with her in the future should the opportunity arise!
By showing her that you’re strong enough to handle being turned down, all she’s going to think about when she goes in for the night is how cool you were to hang out with, how confident of a guy you are, and how good it physically felt to have you do what you were doing to her. It will peak her curiosity and make her think of you in, perhaps, a different way than she did before. Most guys don’t know how to go in for that first kiss correctly. The ones who do are always known to be the best lovers—as are those who are confident enough to handle rejection.
IT’S BETTER TO NOT KISS HER AT ALL THAN TO KISS HER WHEN SHE DOESN’T WANT IT. Doing the former will preserve your chances of ever winning her over, while the later will only guarantee that you’ll likely never see her again.